Sedriques Dumas to be Honored with Golden Ankle Monitor to Commemorate 50th Arrest
Note: This is a work of satire
UFC Middleweight Sedriques Dumas has reached a professional milestone. The Dana White Contender Series alum has been arrested fifty times, putting him into rarified air among his UFC compatriots.
“Growing up, guys like Jon Jones, Conor McGregor, that’s what you aim for, you know?” Dumas said at his most recent arraignment. “I never thought I’d be spoken of in the same breath as those two legends of fucking up, but here I am. I made it!”
Dumas is set to receive a golden ankle monitor in honor of the arrest, which came at 3:19 AM this past Tuesday for improper watercraft operation on a dry thoroughfare, the fourth most common infraction in the state of Florida.
Since becoming a legal adult in August 2013, Dumas has been arrested 15 times in Escambia County alone. Not since Sean Strickland’s Apex run from 2020 through 2023 has a man spent so much time being a complete asshole in a toxic environment.
In a puff piece from a local news organization about using MMA to turn his life around, Dumas claimed “If I was doing the same old stuff I was doing in 2012 and up, I wouldn't be here. I'd be dead or in jail somewhere.” In reality, Dumas has utilized the focus and dedication from his training to finely tune his body into a well-oiled machine that gets arrested every couple of months.
Winning a UFC contract in 2022 and making his promotional debut in 2023, Sedriques quickly racked up the charges:
Trespassing in August 2023
Marijuana possession and driving with a revoked license in December 2023
Domestic battery in February 2024
Domestic battery, home invasion robbery, possession of a weapon or ammunition by a felon, and drug possession in April 2025
Battery in June 2025
“This kid’s got a lot of fire in him to go out and cause mayhem, usually against partners or former partners,” UFC President Dana White said. “As long as he’s in the cage on a ten-and-ten, either going to a decision or getting finished to keep the bonuses to a minimum, he’ll always have a spot in this company. Well, when he’s not in a detention center.”
Dumas, who has been unable to fight internationally due to visa restrictions, is hoping one day to be allowed to leave the country. He’s also had some recent hiccups in getting released from house arrest in time to fight domestically as well.
“Maybe like a Con Air situation, where everyone who can’t get sanctioned just goes on one plane, and we fight on the plane,” Dumas offered. “Me, Shara Bullet, Jon [Jones], Conor [McGregor]. Get us all on Air Force One or something,” Dumas offered.
From a No Contest as a result of an inadvertent groin shot that has left him unable to urinate for three days, to a first round knockout loss earlier this year, to previously being discovered hiding in a dog crate inside a shed in his backyard, Dumas has not had a successful outing inside a cage since his decision win in 2024.
It wasn’t all smooth sailing for Dumas, though. He nearly ran into a slight speedbump in 2024 en route to the record. During a post-fight interview following his decision win against Denis Tiuliulin, Dumas addressed the concerns about his behavior, stating, “After everybody wanna badmouth me, tell me I’m a woman beater online… I ain’t no woman beater… That was in the past, that was some BS.” There was genuine concern he had turned over a new leaf and was becoming a better person. However, 268 days later, just a few weeks shy of the average human gestation period, Dumas was arrested on multiple counts, including battery of the mother of his children. Since that time, he’s gotten arrested on another battery charge against the same woman.
“He’s put in a lot of work with the team,” Dumas’ public defender, Doug Plaff, said. “But the callous nature of the United States justice system’s treatment towards women has got to be acknowledged as well. Without that, he might have faced prolonged sentences, keeping him from this kind of sheer volume of charges.”
Following his milestone arrest, Sedriques Dumas plans to post bail and immediately get arrested again, most likely another battery charge.